Homesick...

Have you ever felt homesick?
This feeling has only happened to me twice, once about 5 years ago and yesterday. The two times in my life when I have grown incredibly close to God, I have had a strong pain in my heart that can only be explained as homesickness for heaven. I was sitting there crying like a child, wishing for my heavenly home. I know that sounds crazy, but I know that is what it was. I have had so many strange feelings over the years. I have this insane desire to sit under a tree way out in the country and just be. I get so tired of the man made concrete jungle of it all. The true beauty of creation, I have only seen on television. The views from mountaintops, waterfalls, the open English countryside, are things that I have never experienced. I have lived in Europe and Japan, but I was always stuck in a city or town and never really got to get out and experience the beauty of such places.

As a mom with four kids, I never have an alone minute with God. Maybe that is at the heart of it. I want to feel completely alone with God. On a mountain top or under a tree, removed from everything and everyone, and know that it is just the two of us. Our lives are so full of distraction and noise. It clutters my mind. I love to read, and I am amazed at how well I can manage to read and comprehend while PBS kids is blaring in the background. I try to read at work, and get continually interrupted. I am incapable of completing the simplest of tasks..ok, after writing this I KNOW that is where my "under the tree" yearning is coming from. Funny how I just talked that out with myself...I am truly a nerd.